Here’s some news: I’m totally helpless and hopeless. Without God, these things are 100% true; I’m not capable, I’m not competent. This is what I’ve been learning recently.
It mainly has to do with the fact that I have three days to raise $398.33/per month and $1330 in one-time gifts for my Cru internship. At this point, I’ve given up control of this. There is no possible way that I can make this happen; it’s completely up to God. I’ve prepared myself for the fact that this goal might not be reached, but I’m still hoping for a Hollywood-style miracle. God loves getting us to a place of complete surrender and reliance on Him before He swoops in to “save the day.”
It’s been a wonderful experience, having to rely on God like this, and having to reach out to other people for help. It’s humbling and encouraging to see how my friends have gathered around me to help in whatever way they can, and to pray fervently for me and my ministry with Cru. Hebrews 12:1-2 says,
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Even though I sometimes endure hardship or times when I’m really unsure about my future and what’s going to happen to me, or when I’m not in control of my life at all, I know that Jesus endured more than I can ever imagine. He took all of my sin and failure, and He bridged the gap between me and my Father in heaven. I can rest in the truth that Jesus is the author and perfecter of my faith, and He has already marked out the race that I’m supposed to run. How comforting to know that He is in control of it all!
Another thing I’d like to do is pray for you. Please let me know how I can be doing that!