I’m taking a study break in order to present you with another look into my mind.
It’s Valentine’s Day, and I haven’t been to sleep yet. I’m still awake studying for a music history exam that’s bound to be a terrible one. But it’s Valentine’s Day none the less. This will probably be my official VDay post, and maybe I’ll post later tonight after everything’s over.
Seeing all of the Valentine’s Day stuff people have posted on their facebook walls so far, just 3 hours and 15 minutes into Valentine’s Day, has made me realize something: I want to like Valentine’s Day. I don’t want to be that bitter girl who hates the day because she doesn’t have a boyfriend. That’s not my personality. Maybe I’m just jealous. But as Elliott told me, “There is a reason that you are in the season of life that you are at the moment; don’t miss that by wishing you were in a different one.” Elliott’s a good friend, and he and I were talking one day about how much I hate Valentine’s Day because I’m single, and he said that it stinks for him too, because he can’t spend it with his girlfriend (who lives a few states away).
It’s really important to remember that God has me in this season of life for a reason. He has a perfect plan for me, and right now that doesn’t involve a guy. That’s ok, I guess. I mean, it has to be ok because there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m not the one in control, here.
I love the thought of Valentine’s Day: The cards, the candy, the flowers, the music (Valentine’s Day music is probably jazzy… something romantic). I’m a romantic at heart, I love the traditional things, the classics… jazz music, old movies, picnics, love notes, that kind of stuff (I’ve actually considered buying a book of old love letters). And if I were less of an emotional person, I’d love Valentine’s Day as a single girl. But I’m too emotional, in the sense that I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Whatever emotion I’m feeling at that second will show on my face and probably be expressed in something I say. It’s a curse. So whenever I see people PDA-ing, especially on VDay, I cringe, just because it reminds me … I was going to say “… of the fact that I’m alone,” but I’m not alone. I’m not unloved at all, either. I have a God who loves me more than any guy could ever love me. He will never let me down or disappoint me, He will never forget an important date or buy me an ugly gift, because He’s already given me the best gift ever. He’ll always support me and have my back, He’s eternally wonderful and caring, and He’ll always remind me of the awesome things He has for me.
Yep, I’m totally and completely loved. And that’s why I can now enjoy Valentine’s Day. <3