Tonight I read through my most recent journal, the one I got on August 26, 2009.
It was a long a winding trip down memory lane, and everything I wrote about held so much emotion. Each entry was linked to something so specific, and I remembered each of the surrounding circumstances. I’ve written around 51 entries so far, and it hasn’t been a year. Looking through my entries, it’s pretty evident what the main thread of my life has been. Every single entry is about one of two things, and it’s sometimes encouraging and sometimes disheartening to see my life through the eyes of myself only slightly older. It’s encouraging because I like to write encouraging notes to myself, so reading them later reminds me of God’s love for me and that He is in control, (PS, I struggle with being in control … of everything.) and that I don’t have to stress about things I can’t change or have no control over. It’s also discouraging because so many of the things I’ve written about are things I’m still struggling with or things I haven’t given totally to God, things that still make me sad to think about, things I can’t control and still don’t have the faith to give completely to Him.
Goal #62 is to have quiet time with God for 30 days straight. I’m on day two starting this morning, and it’s going wonderfully. Hopefully, by the time I’m done with that goal, I’ll have made daily quiet times a habit for myself.